A lesson in(of) friendship.

Friendship is a common topic of discussion, and so I am committing myself to that trend, to the commonality. A friend is simply defined as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual and family relations. (This definition I simply googled, and simply because it fits.)

Through experience, growing up wasn't much interesting for me, especially my fallout sessions with many (and the majority) of my friends were a huge part of my life. Through adolescence, I had learned that friendships are just merely words and never should be taken seriously. My experience of friendship back then had destroyed my beliefs in their beauty, and though I admit that I do have friends (best friends, even) now, the past experiences had never ceased from my conscious mind. It is those occurrences that had shaped my perspectives and beliefs of the cruelty of friendships.

But then I entered college, and only then I had learned the meaning of such friendship that many has eagerly share and be thankful of. In fact, I thank Allah for sending me into college especially after what I had gone through during middle school.

Etched in my memory. - 2015

I learned the power of friendship through many people when I was in college, but most of the time, it would only be just for these two people. Yes, I dedicate this post for them, because without them, I wouldn't be happy and content with the friends I have now. Through them I had learned the true meaning of through ups and downs, and because they had taught me so much about the mesmerizing effects of friendship, I dedicate this specially for them.

They are two ladies that I met during a program, when we were in our first year. And for 3 years, I've observed keenly of their activities, silently smiling whenever I see them together and with others. They are different from the others, I had always thought to myself. Greatly different. They complete each other like I had never seen anyone else complete others.

What amazed me of their bond was they were like sisters from birth. The other understands what the other party is going through. And they only just met in college. I then began to question myself about my beliefs and perceptions of friendship. For as long as I can remember, to me, friendship isn't something that anyone should take seriously. Serious precautions should be taken, but not to be taken seriously. Because to me before, friendship is just a way to manipulate and discriminate people with false hopes and promises. But these two ladies had proven me wrong within just a year.

I have watched them, observed them, analyzed them, and the more I do it, the more I begin to love them. The thought of having them separated, whether it between themselves or from me, makes me sad, but in the end, that sadness grew into strength. Why? Because of these two ladies, I grew stronger day after day. It was the very first time I had felt the warmth that people had always talked about. I find them too special and too precious to be hurt.

You know the biggest lesson that these two taught me? The power to breathe and be a friend. I had never thought that I am able to make friends during my first two semesters of college, but then I began being close with these two. Little do they know, I had longed admired them for their abilities, for their capabilities. I can never get enough of them. I once lost my sun, but I found two suns that gave me the warmth and light after a long period of darkness and frosty days.

These two ladies are amazing. To me, they are diamonds in my life. Hard to find, and very precious. I always quote myself with my own advice : Distance is only a physical barrier, but I know, deep inside, our hearts beat as one. And you know, I find myself becoming illiterate when trying to describe them. Words failed me, because their actions do speak louder. (And truth be told, I grew overly-attached to them without them realizing it. There! Secrets out!)

Dear M & F,

thank you for existing in my life. Thank you for showering me with rainbows, smiles, laughter, tears, and especially love. Thank you for showing me how life matters. Thank you for bringing back my long-lost smile. Thank you for injecting me with the strength that I needed to move on. Thank you for accepting me and my flaws. Thank you for putting up with my personality. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for showing me how friendship works. Thank you for everything. And I thank Allah always for bumping into you guys in life. The two of you are a gift and a hug from Allah to me. The two of you are Allah's blessings that I can never stop being thankful for.

May Allah bless you and shower you with His love and grace. (Hugs)

Lessons in lectures.

I wrote this, or typed it, when I was in college, I guess after attending a neighbouring class program. And I hoped it will be beneficial to whosoever reads this empty blog, because I guess by reading it myself now, the words act as a reminder for me to stay calm and live.

14/3/2015

In recent time, I have encountered countless questions and requests for advice regarding the issue on intentions and also on challenges. To be honest, I don't think I am fit to be asked these kind of question, because like anyone else, I, too, am still struggling in these matters.

Today, I went to a forum conducted by DPIK 6E focusing on a topic regarding challenges, trials and tribulations. The whole forum was beneficial, because most of what was brought up managed to answer some of the said questions above. Matter of fact, it did not only answered those questions, but it brought some peace into my heart that has been aching for a few weeks now.

As we all know, when we were given this life, challenges and trials are to be expected. They are inevitable. Allah SWT created men WITH challenges to face. Like what Ust Fadhluzaman had said in the forum, if a person has no sins then the person should be dead, because perfection is something only Allah possesses. Allah SWT is indeed the Most Gracious, because He created trials and challenges to create and instill perspectives. In other words, when we are tested by His trials, it is an indicator of our Iman (faith). There are only two ways to react to the trials : i) to accept with and be grateful, ii) to take it and sigh of anguish and sorrow. Besides that, (I feel like writing an essay for an English paper now. Le sigh) it is also said by Ust Fadhluzaman that a person whose life has no trials is a life of disgrace.

In the perspective of a counseling student, we are taught to understand the variety of challenges faced by others. No one suffers the same pain, and our responses to problems are different. By engaging and instilling this kind of mentality, we are able to empathize and sympathize others hence the smooth flow of counseling sessions. As interesting as it is, when talking about trials and challenges or problems, counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists faces double the amount of stress and challenges than that of others. Not that others aren't suffering more, but it is just the fact that when we have clients, the clients' problems become our problems as well. So, the equation goes : Own problems + Clients' problems = Work + Life. But, the thing is, since it is our job and professionalism, we never succumbed into the piled up stress of our work.

Back to the topic. In surah al-Baqarah ayat 286, it is stated that we are tested on what we are capable of. Ust Hizbur had presented this long enough to understand the true meaning of the said ayat (phrase). Humans are special. We are created with a working mind and full awareness of our actions, and that makes us different from other beings. We have hearts that knows what we want and we have desires, but even if you say you know yourself well, there is someone else that knows more about us, and that is Allah. Isn't it obvious? He is our Creator, after all. Sometimes we forget about His powers and His capability for simply anything. We sigh in bereavement, in sorrow, blaming ourselves for our misdemeanor, often forgetting that there is always hikmah (lesson) behind everything. We failed in our study even after months of hard work, sacrificing sleep and such. When this happen, we begin to question many things : What wrong did I done? Didn't I do well enough? Now, these questions are questions that we shouldn't be asking, because we are questioning Allah as to why He did it. But instead, look at the failure as a means to work even harder and to be closer to Him. Through failure, we learn to be stronger and soon immunized. Something cliche : There are some things that we like and want may not be something that is good for us. Why not look at it that way, and bring peace into our hearts?

Everything in life has a reason, and so does trials, challenges and problems. Why question something that is so obvious? Why do we insist on complaining when we can accept it wholeheartedly and work our way towards improvement? Patience is the highest action a person can do. Be patient and determine yourself that by being patient, something beautiful will come. It may not be here in this dunya but maybe in Akhirah.

May Allah SWT hugs us in His mercy and always shower us with His never-ending love.

Graduation Day

Finally an alumni!

On the 10th of September 2015, I finally took my last leap in my diploma days ie my graduation day. Believe me, the road leading me to this success was treacherous and rough, but alhamdulillah, all praises only to Allah, He helped and guided me to make it through even the toughest of storm.

3 years studying for a diploma in counseling was actually hard for me. It is not that I am not interested in the field, because believe me, I would exchange nothing for this opportunity to be able to study (it may not be psychology, but at least it's something very close!) counseling and learn the steps of what my school counselors had gone through. I found the reason why my school counselors behaved like how they were, and slowly, I almost became them. In a good way, you know. A very good way.

During those 3 years of struggling, I did not just suffered physically, having to deal with being sick far away from my family, and whatnot, but I also suffered psychologically. In psychological terms, I almost did not made it through, you know. In that period of 3 years, I had fallen a lot. I did not stumble or stagger, but I fell and went deep inside a dark hole. I was barely able to breathe and believe me, you have no idea how much tears I've shed and how very miserable I felt during my dark days.

I sound depressed; maybe I am, but I survived every step of it. There was one time during my third semester that I suffered a terrible anxiety attack that has caused me to be severely depressed. Those days were not known by anyone, and I feel like I need to share it with the world, because denying that it happened would be only causing pain than relief. I believe that there was a reason to that terrible breakdown. It had caused me to lose interest and focus, and I spent many days isolating myself from my friends and housemates. The thing was, I had made such many wonderful friends at college that despite them not knowing anything, they had given me enough strength to let me get a grip of myself and to continue living. I thank them for that.

After 3 years, I am able to understand the fundamentals of the human psychology, and slowly emphasize myself to becoming, acting and thinking like a counselor. I had changed my perspectives in many things. I was always told that I was a pessimist, and despite I still have some thoughts that aren't good, I am still walking and trying my best to survive each and every day.

I am a counseling diploma graduate, and when others see us learning counseling to counsel others, we are actually learning to define ourselves first. 3 years of studying counseling, 3 years of enduring pain, heartbreak, disappointment, frustration, sadness and joy. 3 years were spent learning and researching about all these emotions. 3 years were spent learning about my flaws, learning the reason why I act the way I act. 3 years were spent soul searching and 3 years were spent awesomely exiting the dark tunnel from the past.

Graduation day isn't only a celebratory event for accomplishing 3 years of studies, but it is also a day of congratulatory for us achieving a new phase of life. A new perspective of life that the old us had never knew existed. Supposedly, these 3 years were years that should be etched and cherished for eternity.

Ah! I am rambling.

Counseling Diploma, Group C, Batch 2012.

Diploma in Counseling, Group C 2012

Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah, the Almighty.

Last paper for semester 6 finally ended today. After weeks, months, years of struggling, today also marks the day my diploma days end. It had been a wonderful 3 years for me, that I can not and will never lie. Time flies so fast when you're having fun, doesn't it?

Throughout the 3 years, I've not only learned the fundamentals of psychology and counseling, but also about life, about how I am learning to view life in a whole new perspective. Just last week, after my second paper, my class decided to spend 2 days and 1 night together at Port Dickson and cherish the last moments together. It was the best memory ever and not to mention, sad.

We had this session where we would play games after dinner and then everyone was asked to freely say whatever they have to say about the whole class and the whole of their 3 years endeavor in college. It was sad, yet calm. For all I can say, I had never regretted any parts of my 3 years journey. Never will.

My classmates and friends had always told me and reminded me of how I was when I was in first year. How timid and shy. And some had even told me how I've changed throughout the years. In a better way, that is. And though I may not feel like it, but that's how others had viewed and analyzed me. I guess, when thinking back about it, I can say maybe they are right.

People had always told me that I was too quiet, too timid, scared of people, but my fear decreased a bit after 3 years. I can feel okay being in a group of people that I don't know and not fear of feeling awkward or out of place. Reminds me of social phobia, or social anxiety. I have my days of panics and anxiety, but they are brought to ease when my classmates and friends still accepted me despite how I differ from them in many ways.

I had always adored my classmates and friends. They taught me to be carefree, loving and most importantly, they taught me to really and sincerely smile. They brought warmth to my heart, and whenever I am with them, my heart flutters in excitement. Now that we are going to be separated, my heart holds this very stabbing pain that always manage to squeeze out a tear or two when dealt with.

But, the thing is, I always believe that separation will always happen, sooner or later. The parting will be tough, but no matter, life still have to move on. It still moves forward, and whether I like it or not, I need to still hold hand in hand with life. Hard as it may seem, I will always know and believe that if I still try to remember, they will always be in my hearts.

"Distance is just a physical barrier. Through the distance, we create and instil trust and strengthening our love. By doing this, our bond becomes even more special and we cherish every single second of separation. Holding it until one day we will meet each other again. Our hearts begin to learn to wait for their arrival.

20 April 2015 - Till we meet again

True.
We do not know when, but patiently we still wait and believe.

Because if we do not meet again in this world, there is hope that we will meet there. In Jannah.
Holding hand in hand, and no matter what, there will no longer be separation between us..."

Counting.

As the days of my diploma period coming to an end, the more insecure my emotions are. I guess it's normal to fret separation, to be anxious about the future, to hate the time in which was used idly... So many things.

But to be honest, after 3 years, I am still pondering about how I can contribute myself to the world.  They say that college life is a phase where we can infiltrate our insecurities and weaknesses thus furthering them and changing them into strengths and improving them. I've seen many faces with a million awesome potentials and great strengths. They had taught me to search and dig deeper within me to find my own potentials and empowering them for the goods of others.

The thing is, the only barrier, the only problem is myself. What's keeping me from achieving my finding of my own potential is myself. If there was something to be blamed for my lack of growth, then the answer would be myself. I've been holding back a lot, still constantly blaming myself of the past. But, being in college had opened my eyes of the real world. That my world wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

Guilt of the past is okay at times, you know. It acts as a reminder that whatever it was, it won't be repeated. That's how you learn, that's how you grow. That guilt helps you to grow and change.

Ah. I am so gonna miss my diploma days. The world really ain't that bad, to be honest. Smiles.

This field : Encounters.

Interact with many people, verily you'll learn a lot. I believe that everyone has their own story, a journey they call theirs, and everyone has a path they wish to walk on and has a purpose for every step they take. That, I always believe. What makes us legitimate to determine other people's path and life choices when in reality our own path is so messed up at times? What makes us think that the power and rights to choose falls in our hands when we can't even make simple decisions for our own lives?

My 6 week practicum period in UiTM has opened my eyes regarding many things. Too many to be counted, and with each passing moment that I was in UiTM I created memorable memories that will last for eternity. There's never an end where I can stop saying or talking about my experiences -- my AWESOME experiences in UiTM because in just a few weeks, I've learned things that I thought I would never learn and too many life lessons were learned. In fact, those experiences never seem to stop its flow of life lessons.

There are times where I begin to think, where am I in 5 years to come? How is my life then? Will I be successful in my field of choice? There also comes a time where I would think about my friends. Often times I begin to think about my family. (And yes, many has told me that I think too much -- too much for my own good! Eheh!) It's not like as if I want to guess or foretold about what's prone to happen in anyone's life, but I had always wanted for them to have the best in everything for their lives, in addition to working the best for their afterlife.

Ever since I'm in this counseling field, I am attracted to the people around me and ever since I'm in this field too, I learned to soften my harden heart who had never learned to love others or to even take pity on them. The lives of the people around me are interesting. Sometimes I wish I can be like them, to be able to continue on smiling despite the pain and hardship they have to go through. I admire them. Their uniqueness never fail to make me smile. And this makes me grateful for the life Allah has given me, with its trials and my own flaws. It reminds me that I am a beautiful soul, living life for a purpose to submit myself to Him and aid humanity into that full realization.

Ah. Allah and His beautiful reminders. Never fail to make me smile just by thinking about it. One day, I know I can achieve the success that I had longed desire. Huge grin.

New semester!

Hola, como estas? Oy oy oy~

It's the first day of a new semester today, and boy, am I happy!
Why? Well, one : I get to meet with many new faces today. First years were swarming today, wandering around the faculty, looking so young and fresh. So eager to fill their heads with knowledge that will one day bring benefits, development and growth into our world! Okay. Too immersed in adrenaline, doncha think? Eheh! Looking at them reminds me of my first day stepping into my faculty as a counseling student, and who would've thought that now I am a semester 6 student, a final year student who's going to look after and care for my new juniors! Ah! I love them already!

Herp derp!

Two : I got my results today, and boy, I had never felt so relieved! Alhamdulillah, I did not expect it to improve, but it did, and I am thankful. My hard work really paid off. Now, if you were to ask me, there are only 3 occasions where the faculty will be packed with people. Results' Day, the first day of final exams, and campus election day. Aha! Anyway, people were so busy asking each other about their results today, and my faculty had never been so noisy before. My batch-mates, on the other hand, were busy asking each other about updates on their lives, and how their practicum period was. I wasn't excluded in this. In fact, after 6 weeks of practicum, I had never felt closer with my batch-mates like how I had felt today. Which leads to reason number 3 why I love the first day of a new semester.

I went to college early today, and it was a bit of a shock to me that college seemed empty at first. I had to sit and work at Kelab Kaunseling's registration counter for semester 5 and 6 today, and I had never talked so much in a day like how I talked today. The registration counters were almost never empty, and there's always going to be someone sitting and chit-chatting away. Ah. I'm really going to miss being in college once my diploma years end. I have 4 months left of college, and somehow it pains me to just think that I'll be away from all my juniors and friends. Sitting at the registration counter today really made me think that time flies really fast. It felt like only yesterday I was a semester 1 student, and now I'm a final year student. It felt like only yesterday I was nominated as an academic exco for my faculty and now I am someone who people go to for references.

Time really flies when you have fun. And this first day of a new semester always reminds me of just how important time is in our lives. Every second of our life is precious. Once it is gone, then you can't get it back. That's why there's a saying : Enjoy every moment of your life! and Live life to the fullest! When you fail, keep moving forward. Without failure, you won't be able to greet success with a smile! This reminds me of one of my favorite cartoon : Meet The Robinsons. Oy oy oy~ I love cartoons. Okay. Random shizzles. Har dee har har~

Anyway, welcome to a new semester, Mardyati!
Second semester, year 3 for a counseling diploma. May Allah accept our littlest deeds!
Biidznillah!

5th Dec : The Final Chapter

Today is the last day for practicum, which also means that today is the last day I'll be working as a trainee counselor. It has been a wonderful 6 weeks being in UiTM Melaka, and the experiences and the memories will last me for a lifetime! Indeed it will.

Kak Aini, Pn Anis, Kak Fatin, Pn Mizah, En Bakri, Pn Baiti

I'm going to miss UiTM, especially the people that I've met during these 6 weeks. Like, Pn Baiti, for instance. And there's the other counselors from UiTM KAG, Pn Mizah and En Bakri. Then there's two other intern counselors from KAG, kak Fatin and kak Aini. In fact, if I were to list out everyone's names out, it'll tear me up! (Ahah! Talk about having a soft heart. Aha!) 6 weeks of practicum, 6 weeks of working, 6 weeks of learning, 6 weeks of happiness, 6 weeks of my semester break. 6 weeks feels so insufficient and I am quite sad and a little bit disappointed that I was given only such a small amount of time to savour and really grasp this opportunity to experience first-hand of what and how it is to be a counselor. I had hoped for a longer time for practicum, but 6 weeks will do, then. At least we were given this chance now, right?

These past few weeks had taught me many things. These people, too, had taught me many things about life, and they had made me realized the true meaning of life as a whole. I had never met such outspoken, carefree, caring and supportive people. It has been quite awhile since I've felt close to someone new; It's like as if we were a part of a family. My expectations were met, to be honest, during these 6 weeks. And I had never been happier. To walk out this room today feels so sad and somehow it feels like I'm walking out from a life that I had long desired. A life that I had longed imagined. A life that I thought would never happen for me.

[credit]

Before practicum started, our lecturer told us that we were to carry out 10 individual sessions, 5 group sessions and attend or conduct 3 programs in this 6 weeks, and alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah, He had eased us in our journey. And through that journey, too, we had learned so much from our clients. Each and every single one of us has a struggle of our own. Each one of us has our own path to walk, to take, and it is unfair for us to make fun of other people's paths. Their path may differ from us, but who knows one day their path will cross-path with ours. By looking at other people's life, we can learn a great deal. As for me, I had learned to be thankful and grateful of my life, despite the emotional turmoil that I have to suffer each passing day. After hearing countless stories about other people's lives, it made me realized that my life isn't at all that bad. True, some stories of my life had devastated me before, but then again, there are others who's currently suffering something far worse than what I had to encounter -- or currently have to encounter. If they can still live life to the fullest, and still stand up tall, then why can't I be like them too?

Mira, Pn Baiti, Me

In fact, my clients had successfully opened my eyes to see life in a different angle, in a different perspective. They had made me fully aware about life and its simplicity. The only thing's complicated about life is our views and distorted perspective of it. Only now, I finally understand what it is to live life to the fullest. To be carefree, and happy always. No matter how rough the storm is, the sun always comes out again. These people, for the past 6 weeks, had finally made me a better person. Had successfully made me smile endlessly till the end. They had taught me to live life without regrets, and to continue my current path and not stray from it. These people had showed me a great deal of love, kindness and support, and believe me, I love them, lillahi!

Ah. I'm going to miss being in UiTM. Being with these people. Being with my clients, being with the
students and staff there. Gonna miss working as a counselor. But all in all, I'm going to miss the environment, and how it made my heart feel. I'm going to make these 6 weeks a memory of a lifetime! For 6 weeks, the only emotions I had felt were happiness and contentment, and I had never been happier! Thank you to everyone for helping me improve for the better for the last 6 weeks. Thank you for everything, for the lessons, for the motivation, for the support, and especially for this 6 weeks of experience. Thank you, and I hope to see each and every single one of you again later on in life. Who knows, our path might cross each other one day! Ah. And yes, I will always miss you guys. Smiles.

Ah! Life has to move on, though, because I have a dream to achieve. Like what Pn Baiti always say : We need to move on and to always believe! And that, I will.. Wink.

Day 4, week 5.

It's day 4 of week 5 of practicum, which means, it has been 5 weeks since I'm in UiTM KBM. It has been 5 weeks that me and Mira has worked as a trainee counselor. 5 weeks has passed, can you believe that?

I still can't believe I can call myself as a trainee counselor. I remember the first day I went to UiTM KBM to work as a trainee counselor. I was scared and nervous. Why? Well, I was scared and nervous to meet my supervisor and be a part of an organization since, well, UiTM is basically a huge organization with many branches throughout Malaysia. But in the end, I was proven wrong when I  met with many wonderful staffs and the majority of my time was spent with complete ease with their company and presence. The warm welcoming was enough to make anyone smile and never frown.

I remember my first year as a counseling student. I remember people telling me that I was ridiculous in pursuing my dream in becoming a psychologist, but I brushed the comments off and pursued my dream anyway. And never once did I ever regret my decision. True, there are times where I would doubt myself about it, but in the end, I would always get back on track and still move forward with it. You see, counseling or psychology has been a huge dream for me. Well, it wasn't exactly that -- I was aiming to become a psychiatrist before, but I failed in that. But the failure in becoming a psychiatrist has opened up the doors that will lead me to become a psychologist or a counselor, and I will use this chance wisely to learn and improve myself. I will never let go of this opportunity.

Believe, and you're halfway there!

That's how life is, you know. When you encounter failure, don't dwell on it. Instead, look beyond it and learn from it. I've encountered many failures in my life, and I've dwelt on some before, but I've learned my lesson. Dwelling on it won't get me anywhere in life. In fact, it would only hold you from growing and make you depressed. There's a quote by Helen Keller that I love :
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."

I am not lying about it either. We often dwell and linger on our failures that we forget that success is never-ending and failure is not (and never) the ending. In fact, I've learned this the hard way. The prolonged depression that I felt when I failed before was enough to hit me in the head and to go back to square one. It is never too late to go back to square one. All we have to do is to just believe that the failure that we've encountered means that another door of opportunity and chance for success has been opened. And even if the door leads to another failure, keep on believing until you come across the right door which leads to a path of your desired success.

It's going to be my second semester of year 3 this December (sixth semester all in all). And for the past 3 years, I had met with many people that had taught me the true definition of life and what and how to gain contentment from what life has to offer. I learned so many new things that I even forgot how I was before coming to this college. I am able to smile gleefully and happily now without having the slightest regret of what my pasts hold. I've dealt with heartbreak along the way too, and I've laughed till I cried with many occurrences. In fact, I've encountered all the possible emotions there is, and yet I am still alive and that what makes it more memorable.

I guess this is what my school counselor used to tell me when I was 16. She said : "Taking counseling as a course has changed me and my views of life. I went back to square one and began a new life. I found a new breath of life. It felt like a wonderful transition from a broken me to a new and enjoyable me. I finally say the light at the end of the tunnel and I fought hard to gain that light. I had never regretted this decision ever. True, life has been an up and down ride for me, but rather than to be depressed, I finally am able to change my views toward life and change depression into contentment. I am happy now, and I won't stop believing. You will feel this too, one day. I am sure of it!"

It has been 4 years since she said that to me, but I still remember every word and every moment I've spent with her. And my enthusiasm to pursue my dream increased profusely. And now, I will never regret this decision. This is the transition that I need. This is that new breath. All I have to do now is to keep on believing.

Week 1 as a trainee counselor

Day 4 of week 5.

I am happy. I am enjoying life. I want to face my fears. I want to believe. I want to be positive. I want to be there for people. I want to love everyone. I want to be a person of good influence. I want to be a new me. I want to learn to be independent. I want to be me. I've learned about how change takes time and determination. I've learned about the importance of having a dream to stick and to chase. I've learned to love those whom I just met and who I've already met wholeheartedly. I've learned to stay positive -- especially during critical moments where anxiousness can easily set in. Most importantly, I've learned to look into many matters of life in the spectacles of a true Muslim!

And I won't stop believing. Because I know I can.

Day 4 of week 5. I will always cherish all the days I've spent and all the days I will spent, and most importantly, I will cherish the days I am spending. I am sad to leave UiTM, not because my semester 5 results are out next month, but because I've grown to love and miss UiTM with every passing second that I'm in UiTM. But, life has to move on. I'm going to miss them a lot.

Life is beautiful, can't you see?
With all the joy, sorrow and calamity.
But never fear, never worry,
never ever feel sorry.
Because life is a long story,
that we write about our journey.
It is never stagnant, nor scary.
Because life is all about beauty.
Open your eyes wide so you can see,
that we have a life that's temporary.
We strive hard to gain the eternity,
not for a life that's temporary.
If you stray, you'll be in a quandary,
so go back to Him, and He'll end your misery.
With His power, He is the Almighty,
able to change strength from your vulnerability.
With that I give you a guarantee,
a complete and strong certainty!
Life is always beautiful, can't you see?
With its joy, sorrow and calamity.

The person I am today is not the person I was yesterday.
Because I have a dream. That's a certainty! How about you?

Experience 1.0

"Being a counselor comes from the heart," said Dr Halimatun Halaliah to us last Monday.

4 weeks of practicum has passed. A month being in UiTM Melaka (Kampus Bandar) a.k.a UiTM KBM as a trainee counselor has taught me many things. It has made me realize just how awesome a counselor's job is, and how awesome life can be. I just don't know if I can be okay once my practicum period ends. Two weeks to go, but as the days pass by, I can't help but to fall even deeply in love with the job and profession. There even comes a point during these practicum days that I wish I can work and not be a student anymore. The satisfaction that I feel is beyond words can ever explain.

Patience, Mardyati. Patience...

What Dr Halimatun taught us last Monday made me remember and relive the day where I said to myself that I will work hard and be a great contribution in the field of psychology and aid the society that we live in. If anyone were to ask me regarding the short course we had last Monday, I can profusely and wholeheartedly say that I really love it and I enjoyed every second of it. I can see and feel the passion that Dr Halimatun has in the field of counseling. At some point during that course, a huge part of me wants to be like her.
 

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Dr Halimatun emphasized to us regarding the importance of passion and involving the heart into the majority of things we do in life (except on that day, she emphasized it specifically for counseling). I agree, the heart is important. To be honest, last Monday's one-day course was just a course to enhance our skills in the counseling field. Mind you, the topic itself was straightforward ie Health and Basic Skills of Guidance and Counseling. The thing is, though I already know and understand most of the things that Dr Halimatun taught on the day, it somehow felt different and alien, as though I had never encountered any of it before. It felt like as if I was a semester 1 student again, full of enthusiasm and motivation to learn, and it really felt nice! Awesome, even!

Be a person with a heart; Don't be heartless!

True story. ;)

I've learned a great deal of things ever since I started my practicum. I never knew that working 8-hours a day can be so tiring -- even when there's hardly any work to do! But, despite being tired, working as a trainee counselor is fun! Being a part of society, giving for the society is somewhat a huge satisfaction in life for me, and I wish I can continue doing so forever. In these 4 weeks, the biggest lessons I've had is the lessons that I have to improve myself. I found out that without improving on my soft skills, my career life would be stagnant.

Anyway, I've met with many people with various backgrounds while being here. But what awes me is the reality in which I'm currently living. These people that I met here are the people who never knew how to give up. Somehow, after meeting with these kind of people, I grew happy and I instantly fell in love with them. In fact, I had never been happier.

Learn to be positive everyday. Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive!