A lesson in(of) friendship.

Friendship is a common topic of discussion, and so I am committing myself to that trend, to the commonality. A friend is simply defined as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual and family relations. (This definition I simply googled, and simply because it fits.)

Through experience, growing up wasn't much interesting for me, especially my fallout sessions with many (and the majority) of my friends were a huge part of my life. Through adolescence, I had learned that friendships are just merely words and never should be taken seriously. My experience of friendship back then had destroyed my beliefs in their beauty, and though I admit that I do have friends (best friends, even) now, the past experiences had never ceased from my conscious mind. It is those occurrences that had shaped my perspectives and beliefs of the cruelty of friendships.

But then I entered college, and only then I had learned the meaning of such friendship that many has eagerly share and be thankful of. In fact, I thank Allah for sending me into college especially after what I had gone through during middle school.

Etched in my memory. - 2015

I learned the power of friendship through many people when I was in college, but most of the time, it would only be just for these two people. Yes, I dedicate this post for them, because without them, I wouldn't be happy and content with the friends I have now. Through them I had learned the true meaning of through ups and downs, and because they had taught me so much about the mesmerizing effects of friendship, I dedicate this specially for them.

They are two ladies that I met during a program, when we were in our first year. And for 3 years, I've observed keenly of their activities, silently smiling whenever I see them together and with others. They are different from the others, I had always thought to myself. Greatly different. They complete each other like I had never seen anyone else complete others.

What amazed me of their bond was they were like sisters from birth. The other understands what the other party is going through. And they only just met in college. I then began to question myself about my beliefs and perceptions of friendship. For as long as I can remember, to me, friendship isn't something that anyone should take seriously. Serious precautions should be taken, but not to be taken seriously. Because to me before, friendship is just a way to manipulate and discriminate people with false hopes and promises. But these two ladies had proven me wrong within just a year.

I have watched them, observed them, analyzed them, and the more I do it, the more I begin to love them. The thought of having them separated, whether it between themselves or from me, makes me sad, but in the end, that sadness grew into strength. Why? Because of these two ladies, I grew stronger day after day. It was the very first time I had felt the warmth that people had always talked about. I find them too special and too precious to be hurt.

You know the biggest lesson that these two taught me? The power to breathe and be a friend. I had never thought that I am able to make friends during my first two semesters of college, but then I began being close with these two. Little do they know, I had longed admired them for their abilities, for their capabilities. I can never get enough of them. I once lost my sun, but I found two suns that gave me the warmth and light after a long period of darkness and frosty days.

These two ladies are amazing. To me, they are diamonds in my life. Hard to find, and very precious. I always quote myself with my own advice : Distance is only a physical barrier, but I know, deep inside, our hearts beat as one. And you know, I find myself becoming illiterate when trying to describe them. Words failed me, because their actions do speak louder. (And truth be told, I grew overly-attached to them without them realizing it. There! Secrets out!)

Dear M & F,

thank you for existing in my life. Thank you for showering me with rainbows, smiles, laughter, tears, and especially love. Thank you for showing me how life matters. Thank you for bringing back my long-lost smile. Thank you for injecting me with the strength that I needed to move on. Thank you for accepting me and my flaws. Thank you for putting up with my personality. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for showing me how friendship works. Thank you for everything. And I thank Allah always for bumping into you guys in life. The two of you are a gift and a hug from Allah to me. The two of you are Allah's blessings that I can never stop being thankful for.

May Allah bless you and shower you with His love and grace. (Hugs)

Reoccurring resolutions

It is December, and I thought I might talk about one yearly resolution that I've been putting off for many years, which is learning Spanish. Sweats,

 

To talk about failed resolution would be underrated in this post, because this resolution has been in my list for quite a number of years already. In actuality, the only reason it failed was simply because I would come up with a quantity of excuses and quit before I even given it a full month's try.

 

There is something about the language, though. I had always loved Spanish since I was young, but I got the enthusiasm and lust when I started learning basic Mandarin when I was 14 (which was years ago!). But even then, I had never been good in acquiring language skills. Up until now, the only language that I can speak beautifully and smoothly would be English and Malay, which is quite common.

 

Even back when I was in college, the Arabic language was a compulsory subject, and even then, I was able to only grasp the MOST fundamental of the language. Spanish, however, has been a yearly resolution for me. It started back in 2012. But all I acquire is failure.

 

The thing about this failure is that, I am not at all disappointed about it. In fact, I am grateful for this yearly failure. It reminds me just how much I am procrastinating, it reminds me of what I'm lacking, which is effort. And more irony in that, even though I am aware of the problem, I still fail.

 

Maybe one day, I will be able to speak the languages.

Maybe that is why I've made this post.

To add salt to my own injury.

 

Sweats.