Noviembre.

Last day of November! Oy!

Time really flies! So, here's a random topic!

On November 2010, 4 years ago, I began a new hobby. And I have no idea how the idea started, but I still enjoy doing it until now, and I do believe in the quote : Practice makes perfect. And to be honest, it has been a year that I left this hobby of mine. It makes me sad, you know, to abandon it. But, now that I'm going to have many time on my hands, will be so, I'm thinking of being active again.

You're probably wondering what it is, ay? (I don't think you are. Har dee har har!)

I am proud with these.

I'm a crafter. I began by selling friendship bracelets at school, to my juniors, to my little sister's friends, to anyone online who wanted to buy them. Then, I came across crocheting. And believe me, I am one obsessive crocheter! It has been a year since I left the world of crafting, but my enthusiasm and passion about it had never decreased nor has it ceased. In fact, the longer I abandon it, the stronger my passion. Aaahhhh! I really miss it. Sigh.

Lo and behold!

In fact, when I was in semester 2, I stumbled upon a set of crochet hooks that was on sale on Facebook, and since it has been ages since I've looked for hooks that are in sets, I bought them~ Oy! And talk about being random here. These precious crochet hooks of mine are really something that I am really proud of. No one understands just how happy I am when I engage myself in this activity. I don't think my skills are rusty now that I've abandoned it for almost a year, and I am very eager to start it again. Oy~ Can't wait!

Well, I told you, this was a random topic. Muahaha.

Since it is kind

a related to November, right? Okay. Adieu!

Me gusta~ Oy! Oy!

Day 4, week 5.

It's day 4 of week 5 of practicum, which means, it has been 5 weeks since I'm in UiTM KBM. It has been 5 weeks that me and Mira has worked as a trainee counselor. 5 weeks has passed, can you believe that?

I still can't believe I can call myself as a trainee counselor. I remember the first day I went to UiTM KBM to work as a trainee counselor. I was scared and nervous. Why? Well, I was scared and nervous to meet my supervisor and be a part of an organization since, well, UiTM is basically a huge organization with many branches throughout Malaysia. But in the end, I was proven wrong when I  met with many wonderful staffs and the majority of my time was spent with complete ease with their company and presence. The warm welcoming was enough to make anyone smile and never frown.

I remember my first year as a counseling student. I remember people telling me that I was ridiculous in pursuing my dream in becoming a psychologist, but I brushed the comments off and pursued my dream anyway. And never once did I ever regret my decision. True, there are times where I would doubt myself about it, but in the end, I would always get back on track and still move forward with it. You see, counseling or psychology has been a huge dream for me. Well, it wasn't exactly that -- I was aiming to become a psychiatrist before, but I failed in that. But the failure in becoming a psychiatrist has opened up the doors that will lead me to become a psychologist or a counselor, and I will use this chance wisely to learn and improve myself. I will never let go of this opportunity.

Believe, and you're halfway there!

That's how life is, you know. When you encounter failure, don't dwell on it. Instead, look beyond it and learn from it. I've encountered many failures in my life, and I've dwelt on some before, but I've learned my lesson. Dwelling on it won't get me anywhere in life. In fact, it would only hold you from growing and make you depressed. There's a quote by Helen Keller that I love :
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."

I am not lying about it either. We often dwell and linger on our failures that we forget that success is never-ending and failure is not (and never) the ending. In fact, I've learned this the hard way. The prolonged depression that I felt when I failed before was enough to hit me in the head and to go back to square one. It is never too late to go back to square one. All we have to do is to just believe that the failure that we've encountered means that another door of opportunity and chance for success has been opened. And even if the door leads to another failure, keep on believing until you come across the right door which leads to a path of your desired success.

It's going to be my second semester of year 3 this December (sixth semester all in all). And for the past 3 years, I had met with many people that had taught me the true definition of life and what and how to gain contentment from what life has to offer. I learned so many new things that I even forgot how I was before coming to this college. I am able to smile gleefully and happily now without having the slightest regret of what my pasts hold. I've dealt with heartbreak along the way too, and I've laughed till I cried with many occurrences. In fact, I've encountered all the possible emotions there is, and yet I am still alive and that what makes it more memorable.

I guess this is what my school counselor used to tell me when I was 16. She said : "Taking counseling as a course has changed me and my views of life. I went back to square one and began a new life. I found a new breath of life. It felt like a wonderful transition from a broken me to a new and enjoyable me. I finally say the light at the end of the tunnel and I fought hard to gain that light. I had never regretted this decision ever. True, life has been an up and down ride for me, but rather than to be depressed, I finally am able to change my views toward life and change depression into contentment. I am happy now, and I won't stop believing. You will feel this too, one day. I am sure of it!"

It has been 4 years since she said that to me, but I still remember every word and every moment I've spent with her. And my enthusiasm to pursue my dream increased profusely. And now, I will never regret this decision. This is the transition that I need. This is that new breath. All I have to do now is to keep on believing.

Week 1 as a trainee counselor

Day 4 of week 5.

I am happy. I am enjoying life. I want to face my fears. I want to believe. I want to be positive. I want to be there for people. I want to love everyone. I want to be a person of good influence. I want to be a new me. I want to learn to be independent. I want to be me. I've learned about how change takes time and determination. I've learned about the importance of having a dream to stick and to chase. I've learned to love those whom I just met and who I've already met wholeheartedly. I've learned to stay positive -- especially during critical moments where anxiousness can easily set in. Most importantly, I've learned to look into many matters of life in the spectacles of a true Muslim!

And I won't stop believing. Because I know I can.

Day 4 of week 5. I will always cherish all the days I've spent and all the days I will spent, and most importantly, I will cherish the days I am spending. I am sad to leave UiTM, not because my semester 5 results are out next month, but because I've grown to love and miss UiTM with every passing second that I'm in UiTM. But, life has to move on. I'm going to miss them a lot.

Life is beautiful, can't you see?
With all the joy, sorrow and calamity.
But never fear, never worry,
never ever feel sorry.
Because life is a long story,
that we write about our journey.
It is never stagnant, nor scary.
Because life is all about beauty.
Open your eyes wide so you can see,
that we have a life that's temporary.
We strive hard to gain the eternity,
not for a life that's temporary.
If you stray, you'll be in a quandary,
so go back to Him, and He'll end your misery.
With His power, He is the Almighty,
able to change strength from your vulnerability.
With that I give you a guarantee,
a complete and strong certainty!
Life is always beautiful, can't you see?
With its joy, sorrow and calamity.

The person I am today is not the person I was yesterday.
Because I have a dream. That's a certainty! How about you?

Random

Stay strong, my love...

The end of practicum is getting nearer and nearer, and I don't think I am ready to leave yet. Not just yet. There are parts of this period that disenchant me, but I still think it's a wonderful chance to be able to work as a counselor -- even only for 6 weeks. To be acknowledged as a member of a staff and to be acknowledged as a counselor feels so awesome for me.

Not everything in life will make you happy, and so is not everything in life will make you sad and sappy. Life is a balance occurrence. These few weeks working a routinized hour of 8 am to 5 pm was a pain for me at first, but just by having a recognition is enough to make me happy. It's awesome to be able to be part of the society, and not just be the receiver of education ie a student. I don't know, but I had always imagined myself working as a counselor (or a psychologist) ever since I was 14, and somehow being able to do that now (even for just a short period) suffice and able to make me feel satisfied. Somehow, I am content to what I have now. I am in a field in which I had long desired and had long dreamed of. Still striving to be a psychologist -- who knows, maybe one day I might be able to be like Dr Halimatun! But, reality check! I am still a student now, aren't I? So, maybe I should focus on this first before anything else.

Many has said that a student's life should be used wisely, and so I will use it wisely. Students should seek experience in many fields, not just by smothering ourselves with books. Without experience, the things that we learned in lectures are for vain.

Anyway, I'm clearly not making any sense at all with this post, but then again, I just needed to type anyway. I need to think of what to write (type) from now on, or at least need to rethink about all this blogging stuff again. Hm.

Stay focus. Stay coordinated. Stay positive. Stay strong.

Keep on believing.

Use time wisely. Because once it is gone, there's nothing you can do to take it back. But, unlike others who wishes to enjoy the majority of their time (and also, money) going shopping, karaoke-ing, or even just loitering endlessly without purposes, I really don't want to follow. Time, to me, is too precious to be wasted, but then again, with me saying that is like a huge irony in my part. Though my realization and awareness regarding the importance of time is huge (Si, muy importante!), I am not one who uses the time efficiently either. In fact, if I were to compare myself with others, I am no different. But that doesn't mean that I can't improve myself on the matter now, right? Wink.

Get back up,
up on your feet.
Don't give up,
never admit defeat!

Experience 1.0

"Being a counselor comes from the heart," said Dr Halimatun Halaliah to us last Monday.

4 weeks of practicum has passed. A month being in UiTM Melaka (Kampus Bandar) a.k.a UiTM KBM as a trainee counselor has taught me many things. It has made me realize just how awesome a counselor's job is, and how awesome life can be. I just don't know if I can be okay once my practicum period ends. Two weeks to go, but as the days pass by, I can't help but to fall even deeply in love with the job and profession. There even comes a point during these practicum days that I wish I can work and not be a student anymore. The satisfaction that I feel is beyond words can ever explain.

Patience, Mardyati. Patience...

What Dr Halimatun taught us last Monday made me remember and relive the day where I said to myself that I will work hard and be a great contribution in the field of psychology and aid the society that we live in. If anyone were to ask me regarding the short course we had last Monday, I can profusely and wholeheartedly say that I really love it and I enjoyed every second of it. I can see and feel the passion that Dr Halimatun has in the field of counseling. At some point during that course, a huge part of me wants to be like her.
 

[credit]

Dr Halimatun emphasized to us regarding the importance of passion and involving the heart into the majority of things we do in life (except on that day, she emphasized it specifically for counseling). I agree, the heart is important. To be honest, last Monday's one-day course was just a course to enhance our skills in the counseling field. Mind you, the topic itself was straightforward ie Health and Basic Skills of Guidance and Counseling. The thing is, though I already know and understand most of the things that Dr Halimatun taught on the day, it somehow felt different and alien, as though I had never encountered any of it before. It felt like as if I was a semester 1 student again, full of enthusiasm and motivation to learn, and it really felt nice! Awesome, even!

Be a person with a heart; Don't be heartless!

True story. ;)

I've learned a great deal of things ever since I started my practicum. I never knew that working 8-hours a day can be so tiring -- even when there's hardly any work to do! But, despite being tired, working as a trainee counselor is fun! Being a part of society, giving for the society is somewhat a huge satisfaction in life for me, and I wish I can continue doing so forever. In these 4 weeks, the biggest lessons I've had is the lessons that I have to improve myself. I found out that without improving on my soft skills, my career life would be stagnant.

Anyway, I've met with many people with various backgrounds while being here. But what awes me is the reality in which I'm currently living. These people that I met here are the people who never knew how to give up. Somehow, after meeting with these kind of people, I grew happy and I instantly fell in love with them. In fact, I had never been happier.

Learn to be positive everyday. Stay positive. Stay positive. Stay positive!