Time.

It is truly amazing how time is able to change our views, perspectives and reactions to certain events, problems, and situations. It is truly amazing how time is able to age us so well and how time is able to strengthen bonds or to loosen them. It is truly amazing how time is able to keep on moving when majority of humanity pleads for it to slow down or to even stop. It is truly amazing how time is very precious, and yet the statement itself creates a huge irony in everyone's life. It is truly amazing how time is always misinterpret. It is truly amazing how time is always blamed for each occurrence in one's life. It is truly amazing how time is amazing.

And yes, I'm talking about time.

Those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and years. This topic has been in my head for quite some time now, and somehow I have this need and desire to share about it here. Not that I think it's necessary, but I just think I might, and so I will, and so I am.

It does, trust me.

Honestly speaking, time has changed me in so many ways. In recent events of my life, I can clearly say that time has definitely changed my reactions towards my journey from Malacca to Kuching. I just landed in Kuching yesterday and believe me, I felt indifferent throughout my journey. I guess that's the perks of being a third year student. Why? Well, I can finally say that the excitement that I feel has extinct deeply that I feel indifferent. (Does that even make any sense at all?) The perks of being a third year student. The perks, ay?

"Truly mesmerizing if you ponder upon the wonderful flow of time. To be able to look back in time and differentiate between the you then and the you now is truly amazing. To be able to feel your own development in life, and how time slowly changes you into someone you were to someone you are."

Ah. That's what it is.

All I can say is, I may forgot how my past was completely, but somehow I will never forget the struggles that I had to go through to be here now. I am still learning, and unlike others, I have to make more preparations than them to go through many things in life, and I only trust Allah SWT to understand why.

And with time, I know I will get stronger with every hit along the way. With every hit, my defense system gets stronger... With time....

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Who ever knew..

The biggest lesson and the biggest turning point in life for me began when I started college life, and that was 2 years ago. Those memories are very distinct, very vivid, that I can't possibly forget. I still remember the atmosphere, the fresh environment of stepping into a new world. A world I thought I would never be able to step in. Who knew someone like me would end up taking a diploma in counseling? But, who ever said that I couldn't anyway?

Who ever knew I could pursue in Social Science? ;)

Being a third year student is really challenging, especially if you're a diploma student. That is, it is in my point of view. Why?

To me, this is a phase where we are faced with challenges regarding our future. Our mind are constantly repeating questions upon questions regarding our future : What path should I go to for my future? Shall I continue taking a degree in counseling or should I wander off into the path of psychology? Will I be able to continue studying? Will I stop studying and work? And many more questions. But, through these questions, we grow.

If I were to think back about the past, I am thankful. And when I start thinking about my current state in the present time, I am also thankful. And when I began to think about the future, I am also thankful. Why? Because, somehow, after years of a past filled with confusion and years of not understanding about the meaning of life, finally, now, at this very moment, I still live. And I am still walking, still moving on. I can finally see my own growth over the years, and though not many has changed, but I am still moving forward and learning.

The biggest lesson I've learned so far is that no matter how many times you fall, get back up. There are still people out there who wants you, who needs you. There's no use crying, and only thinking about the pain. There's no use in staying on the ground and let others wait for your arrival. I learned to stand up, and keep on walking, despite the injury. All wounds heal, and even though they leave behind scars, that's okay. Those scars are the reminders for you to keep on moving. To not repeat the past. To be even better. To work harder. Why? Because, I live to serve the people around me. To give them my all. Before I can do that, I have to work hard on me. Love thyself before you love others.

And somehow now, I am still walking on the path to my dream. To a future that I desire. To a destination that I know I can go through.

A path to my dream.

And I will never quit.

Because, I am never alone.

I have my family, my friends, my teachers, my acquaintances, my lecturers..

But, most of all, because I have Allah SWT.

Yes. Because I have Allah SWT.

Always.

Zutto.

Siempre.

 "...And if a positive self-image is lacking, so will be the confidence that problems can be solved or managed creatively.
...Without a positive mental attitude toward problems, a person will never make the personality shift from the impossibility thinking posture to the Possibility Thinking posture."
- Success is Never Ending, Failure is Never Final.

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The past?

Everyone have this habit where they would ask people about their pasts. And if you were to ask me, I really can't answer the question because I don't remember much about my pasts. In fact, those vivid dreams of the pasts before feels like the murmurs of the wind now. Blurry, indistinct, hazy, and any other synonyms to decribe it. But, that doesn't mean I am in denial of my past. No. My decision to forget my past is a way for me to move on in life. And, alhamdulillah, I did move on.

But... To be honest, to push away memories isn't the right way to some people. Because there are times where these pushed away memories come back and haunt them. So, what's the solution to this when this happens? One word : REDHA. Redha means to accept what is given wholeheartedly and openly. Redha means to not mope when a hardship is given to your life. Redha means to still be thankful and grateful to what is given in your life. Redha is an act that many people fail to do in life, and thus, creating further problems to them.

Speaking back about the pasts... To me, being in denial of the past means that person isn't accepting his/her past and feels trapped in it. Why feel trapped in it? I remember a quote that I love from KungFu Panda 2 (And yes, who said cartoons can't help you to motivate yourself?) :

"Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be."

My fav cartoon so far. =)

And yes, I hold on to this quote ever since the first time I watched KungFu Panda. In fact, this specific cartoon had helped me gather the strength and motivation from its motivational words and phrases. Inner peace comes when you accept your past and not avoid it. The past had already happened, and no matter what you do, you can't change it. Just accept it.

My past wasn't exactly traumatic or sad, but my past was bittersweet. Though nothing is clear, and my memories of the past is indistinct, but that's okay. Why? Because I still remember all the life lessons I had learned through all of it. I accepted my past, I forgave myself and the people who had done wrong before, I changed my perspectives towards my past, and I begin to feel thankful and grateful that Allah SWT had given me that past. If it weren't for that past, I wouldn't have been here now, gracefully and happily enjoying my life, especially now that I am on the path of achieving my dream to be a clinical psychologist. And even if I can't be a clinical psychologist, that's okay. I can still have the chance to be a full-pledged licensed counselor, and through that, I will be STILL be able to give aid to society.

So, what's wrong with life?

Life is nothing wrong. Life is all that is right -- if we look at it the RIGHT way. ;)

"The past is for you to learn from, the present time is for your to work hard in, and the future is for you to seek and dream for. Every moment is precious. Live it well, because once it is gone, you won't be able to get it back."

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The beginning

I had always wanted to start a blog or to start anything of the sort regarding my journeys in life. The things and people that I encounter, the challenges, the stories... But, I never got the chance to do that. Well, honestly, that's a lie. It had always been my own fault as to why that goal isn't fulfilled up until now.

Write, because yes.

But, lately, I came to think about my future and what I want from it. And what I want from it is to be able to successfully write (or type) about many things. To share, to teach, to learn. It has always been a dream of mine to write; to be a writer who shares own experiences in life as well as other people's experiences. Because why? Because I can, and indeed, I will.

My concept in writing is simple. Just simply write, because every single moment is precious. You wouldn't want to miss any moment, because once that moment is gone, you won't be able to go back to it. And I want to live life properly, I want to live a great life, to be able to help and aid others around me in any way that I could.

Stay simple. Stay coordinated. Stay focus.

Once you're serious in the path to your dream(s), you're just starting up your engine. The journey (viaje) is a long and bumpy one, and expect it to be nasty as well!

Stay focus.

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim....